• Kirsten Dunst quits "stroking" Fab Moretti, starts stroking Razorlight's Johnny Borrell.

• Paris Hilton and Jenna Jameson join
forces to create a new, super-powerful STD.

• We're not falling for Melinda Doolittle's humble big-headed dwarf act…anymore!

• The Onion challenges AMNY to a competitive eating duel!

• Slate takes a gamble, launches political futures market. We're betting it'll be a huge success!

• Legal experts cleverly find a way to make the Viacom/YouTube lawsuit even more boring.

• Dita Von Teese with no makeup on is actually, surprisingly, pretty.

• Anna Nicole Smith judge Lawrence Korda gets busted for smoking the reefer. Police apparently didn't believe his plea that he was "just trying to get a better understanding of the victim."