• You better not call Lindsay Lohan skinny, yo. She's gonna' be Wonder Woman and then she'll totally beat your ass. [National Ledger]

• There are literally no famous people left for Jessica Simpson to sleep with. Now she knows how Paris Hilton feels. [Us Weekly]

• New York Times TimesSelect columnists don't really want you to read their articles anyways. [The Rake]

• Matt LeBlanc files for divorce. It goes without saying that half of what he made doing Joey couldn't even cover the box set of Friends. [Access Hollywood]

• Sharon Stone is back on that “box of condoms” crusade. [The Sun]