• Galleycat calls Maureen Dowd a woman-hater; we just call her "Firecrotch."

• In addition to eating ramen noodles and using pretentious words like "sesquipedalian," NYU kids enjoy setting their dorm rooms on fire.

• Michael Jackson to make a cameo on American Idol? Related: next round of Idol auditions to feature Caucasians attempting to moonwalk?

• Ivanka Trump to Paris Hilton: Worst. Heiress. Ever.

• John Edwards' blogger resigns after being branded an "anti-Catholic vulgar trash-talking bigot." What a wuss.

• Can't wait for all the NCAA March Madness to begin? Tide yourself over by filling out an Anna Nicole Baby Daddy Bracket. Seriously.