• Dan Abrams says "great job" to all your MSNBC folk! You're doing a fantastic job maintaining third place.

• Fabian Basabe isn't content with just a DUI charge; he needs a 20/20 special to go into elaborate detail as to all the reasons he's not fit to hold down a real job.

• Stop. Everything. Simon Dumenco found a magazine he likes.

• Dan Peres turns his diary into an editor's letter.

• Former Budget Living doyenne Sarah Gray Miller too cheap for InStyle?

• Nick Lachey shows he's over Jessica and on to guys in cups.