• W Hotels is snubbing Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony from its Fashion Week party after last year's infamous "fuck you" doodle incident.

• Nicky Hilton is agreeing to hold court as a bridesmaid for both sissy Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride — except for that one time in Vegas when we were really wasted and were lucky enough to get it annulled.

• Ocean Drive's VMA party wasn't just home to Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson's brooding — it was also the scene of Shaquille O'Neal's beating up a fellow party-goer. Though he didn't react with Russell Crowe's pinache. Instead, he took off for for Louisiana to escape Hurricane Katrina.

• Tyson Beckford is done with modeling, thanks to Diddy's Sean John line. He announced yesterday he was quitting the biz of cashing in on good looks thanks to Sean Comb's complete lack of fashion know-how. That'll go nicely with his breach of contract and trademark infringement lawsuit.

• B-List celebrities are clamoring to get spots on the Hurricane Katrina benefit circuit, because being seen is being seen, right?

• Whether you think it was the gays, the terrorists or the gay terrorists responsible for Hurricane Katrina, our money is on abortion rights advocates.

• While Courtney Love spends time at her new rehab home, her New York landlord is trying to kick her out of her SoHo loft (in the building Lenny Kravitz once inhabited). Mercury Capital says she hasn't made a mortgage payment since June, which is understandable considering her habit.

• Now that Ashton Kutcher has stepped aside to impregnate Demi Moore, it's Wilmer Valderrama's moment to shine — as a C-list It Boy.