• Ted Casablanca possibly gets engaged, possibly threatens the Governator with physical violence (or—worse still—coitus!)

• Turns out the girlfriend-battering HBO chief may have a drinking problem We never would have guessed!

• Could British tabs have stooped so low as to have Photoshopped pics of Cate Blanchett? On purpose? In order to make her look bad?? The totally revamped Mollygood investigates!

• President Bush accidentally suggests that Queen Elizabeth is over 230 years old.

• From CNN: "Knut baby cuteness lost to long nose, belly sag." Seriously.