• Spin writers have already begun to twirl off into the sunset, with Chuck Klosterman leading the pack. [Fishbowl]

• George Pataki is going to be A-OK — just as soon as he can poop, scarf down some pizza, and kick back a few brewskis. [NY1]

• This weekend’s New York Times magazine will be devoting 200 pages to the heavenly topic of real estate. Yes, Lockhart Steele is going to be in the bathroom for a while. [NYO]

• We don’t think Americans are brilliant or anything, but they know who Wilmer Valderrama is, and they definitely know that neither we nor Jon Stewart are journalists. [DFW]

• All the girls at Michelle Williams' old elementary school scratched “Michelle is a bloody cunt” on the bathroom walls. Ok, they didn’t, but the homophobic principals who are secretly jealous of her Heath kiss have totally disowned her. [Sign on San Diego]