• Chris Klein is destined to go through life as "Katie Holmes' ex-boyfriend.' Tough break, Nova.

• Al Roker launches his v-blog on the revamped Today show website; Amanda Congdon panics, then remembers she looks "much, much better" in a tight t-shirt.

• Former Disney CEO Michael Eisner decides he's ready to grow up; takes off his Mickey ears and buys a lifetime's supply of Bazooka chewing gum.

• MTV is launching thousands of websites. 'Who cares?' asks the disgruntled throngs of recently-fired MTV staffers.

• A braless Sharon Stone flips out when photogs capture her G.I. Jane look.

• Our homosexual younger brother tells Ann Coulter how to treat her gays.