Who is John McCain convincing when he calls himself a "conservative Republican": Voters, or himself? But that's his shtick, so you'll have to forgive him for it when he brings it up to distance himself from John Kerry, the Democrat who, in 2004, approached McCain about being his running mate. Now that McCain is the presumptive Republican nominee, would he return the favor?

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That's the paraphrased temperamental answer he gave a New York Times reporter who asked him about his Kerry conversations, which he has actually denied having, aboard the campaign's plane. It's so much harder to run away from your lies when the closest exit leads to a 30,000-foot drop.