• A friend swears OJ Simpson didn’t do it! The book, not the double homicide, obvi.

• Only Barry Bonds’ mistress knows the truth about those so-called “performance enhancing” drugs.

• John Stamos pulls a Paula Abdul, which is to say he slurs his way through a television interview then attributes it to being “jet-lagged.”

• Nintendo hires Nicole Kidman to demonstrate that even attractive people who’ve had lots of plastic surgery enjoy video games.

• Hugh Grant may be back together with heiress Jemima Khan, If so, he may or may not have popped the question, in which case Khan conceivably answered with either a “yes” or a “no.”

• If Al Gore was actually running for president, he’d never allow his daughter to have a Beverly Hills 90210 inspired wedding.