• 50 Cent announces he'll be leaving the music biz to focus his energies entirely towards his one true passion: getting shot.

• Orlando Bloom is ready to fall in love, still hoping against hope that he'll find Mr. Right an awesome new girlfriend.

• Kanye West: "I've known my mom since I was zero years old. She is quite dope." Fortunately for Mrs. West, her son is kind of a "dope" as well.

• Oprah Winfrey learns her father is writing a tell-all about his famous progeny; the book is said to be less fictitious than James Frey, and almost as boring as "The Secret."

• Check out all the accomplished politicians, Pulitzer Prize winning authors and billionaires who were once rejected by Harvard admissions! It's all kind of empowering, until you remember that your parents are still paying your cell phone bill.

• Meanwhile, Britney Spears naively hopes a B-12 shot will put the "zap" back into those lip-syncing routines.

• Those zany Wilson brothers are at it again! Their latest hijinks? Firing their own mother! Oh, the tomfoolery…