• Brandon Davis takes time out of his busy birthday-party-ruining schedule to trash his brother's wedding.

• Michael Moore rants and raves at Wolf Blitzer for 11 zany minutes, then demands an apology from CNN.

• Paris Hilton is already well on her way towards poisoning America's youth.

• Sources say Posh's boring television special is completely representative of her non-existent personality.

• Alec Baldwin tries to disassociate himself from that shitty movie he starred in co-produced.

• The former VP of the United States introduced himself to a room full of celebrity-turned-environmentalist types by saying, "My name is Al Gore, and I'm a recovering politician."