• "Which rocker-ette, who is attempting a comeback, has a new eating disorder to replace the drugs? Apparently now she will eat only yogurt products," tantalizes Ben Widdicombe.

• Meanwhile, in completely unrelated news, "Courtney Love showed off her new skinny bod by performing in a one-piece Marc Jacobs bathing suit at Hiro," chirps Rush & Molloy.

• Diddy moves on from ex-girlfriend Kim Porter faster than you can say "canoodling with a brunette in a cabana with three bodyguards blocking him from fans and paparazzi." And that kind of cathartic promiscuity can't be good for the wallet.

• Brandon Davis' parents finally do the sensible thing: disown their overweight and out of control son until he learns how to eke out a respectable living dealing drugs and hocking "Team Firecrotch" t-shirts.

• Don't listen to K-Rock radio today unless you want to hear a 4-hour block of 30 Seconds to Mars songs.

• DJ AM dumps his much more attractive girlfriend for being "too high maintenance." And she totally was! You know, except for that whole willingness to date an unattractive, tattooed manorexic.