• Jon Lovitz finally does what most of us have only dreamed about, namely grab Andy Dick and smash his face into the bar. Repeatedly. And, despite having once said, "I wanted to punch [Dick's] face in, but I don't hit women." Ouch.

• Narcissists David and Victoria Beckham to adorn their new home with giant, poster-sized pictures of…themselves.

• Despite those persistent rumors about her latent promiscuity, Lindsay Lohan just isn't into going "backdoor."

• Just when things were finally starting to heat up between QB Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, his ex, Bridget Moynahan has to be all, "Look at me, look at me! I'm having your baby."

• Paris and her new 21 year-old mimbo, Tyler Atkins, were spotted "making out like teenagers." Which for Tyler, has got to be soooo two years ago.

• Padma Lakshmi isn't dating billionaire BFF, Ted Forstmann. She's just sleeping with him until someone better comes along, or she gets half of Salman Rushdie's fortune in the divorce settlement.