• Lindsay Lohan fired before she even had the chance to show up late (and hungover) to set.

• Which paparazzo's dick do we have to suck to get our picture in the society pages?

• Shocker! In Brit's new music video, she's wearing…a bad wig and too-tight closed.

• Usher's pissy cease and desist letter makes his (former) biggest fan wonder what she ever saw in him, anyway.

• Naomi Campbell finds a way to make money off of her her penchant for throwing phones at people.

• Gossip columnist Claudia Cohen had a $60 million estate. Meanwhile, we're still holding out for dental.