• Usher insists that the nuptials are still on track despite ample evidence to the contrary (i.e. he's a philandering mama's boy who traumatized his fiancee by canceling his wedding just two days ago).

• If you missed Beyonce's fall (and the subsequent "I'm okay—wait, no I'm not" stumble) here's your chance to watch it all over again. And again. And again. She's so self-conscious!

• Actress Anne Hathaway ditches her own Hampton's premiere (of Becoming Jane) in favor of an embarrassing public fight with her boyfriend. She then recovers/overcompernsates by showing up "all smiles" to the "rager" of an after-party.

• In a misguided attempt to defend Anne's honor, Cinema Society founder Andrew Saffir says, "If [Anne] seemed emotional it was because she had not yet seen the film in its entirety, and she found even the little she watched of the opening very moving." Riiiiight.

• "If wishes came true, Ryan Seacrest would have AIDS," sniffs Seacrest's disgruntled ex-boyfriend. (Kidding! Just that guy whose job he stole).

• Although he's made a brilliant career out of playing dark, twisted psychos, in real life Sean Penn gets his kicks by standing on street corners and talking like a sappy Hallmark card.