• If Elizabeth Hasselbeck gives you a reason to live … well, your life is lookin' pretty sad. [FBNY, EW]

• Lindsay Lohan wants to go to Iraq — American troops beg, "haven't we been through enough?" [People]

• Page Six finally comes around to outing Joe Francis for the psycho fuck he is. While still managing to plug the news reporter Claire Hoffman was able to extract before being slammed up against a car and fondled. [Page Six]

• Here are a few shots of our fave Faux Par Natalie Reid, courtesy of our super paparazzi sleuth Molly. Somehow it feels less creepy than shots of real Paris Hilton. Is that weird? [Mollygood]

• Don't ask us how we missed this moving picture of Britney Spears on crack … but in case you missed it, too, this is freakin' hilarious. We think she says "huhn?" about 47 times. [You Tube]