• Is Leslie Sloan crazy? We wish somebody would offer to take Britney Spears off our hands. [Lowdown]

• Meanwhile, Brit struggles to finds someone to take over her pesky New York apartment. [NYO]

• We pity the fool who decides to take advice from Mr. T. [MSNBC]

• Thank god we don't have to pretend to be good citizens by watching Geena Davis on TV anymore. [CNN]

• Teri Hatcher should consider her hot minute with Ryan Seacrest a blessing — Oprah talks always help book sales. [Us]

• Paula Abdul stopped her drunken crying to have a truly delusional moment. She announced that Simon Cowell wants to marry her. [MSNBC]