• Hugh Grant left a British paparazzo "bruised, battered and covered in baked beans."

• Could it be? Is Britney Spears really tipping off the paparazzi before she heads out for her daily errands? But wouldn't that make her an opportunistic hussy promoting a comeback album, rather than a postpartum sufferer and devoted mother to two children we never see?

• And if rapper Eve described her leaked sex tape as "embarrassing," she must be utterly humiliated by this whole "driving drunk and crashing her gold Maserati" incident.

• Joe Francis may have racked up more time in the slammer by (allegedly!) fondling the boobies of an uninterested 18 year old girl.

• Reality bites for Ethan Hawke.

• Hey, look, it's video footage of a 2-foot tall pregnant chick and her 6 foot 4 boyfriend! It's sleazy, and voyeuristic, and the best part is watching how exactly she goes down stairs.