• Jessica Simpson and John Mayer confirm their "secret" relationship with messy, drunken PDA.
• Joe Simpson cashed in on Jessica's fame to score himself free Cowboys tix. Continues trying to figure out how to cash in on Ashlee's "fame."
• Steve-O resolves to be "An Even Bigger Jackass" in 2007.
• Breaking: Paris Hilton can add "bad tipper" to her dubious list of accomplishments.
• Jay Mohr marries Nikki Cox, again confuses her with the "hot chick" from Married With Children.
• Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush finalize divorce proceedings, leaving Murray free to enter into second ill-advised quickie marriage.
• After the high-profile cancelation of O.J.'s book deal and interview, he finds other ways to "hypothetically" profess his guilt.
• Busta Rhymes to be charged with assaulting an employee, compounding his pre-existing charges of assault and attempted assault.
Editorial Director
I changed my mind, Dave. Your fullashit for being jealous of Jessica all the time. Your the asshole of the month. Molly, is still a honey. Even though she bitches about Paris too much.
…carry on.