
• Julia Roberts preggers again, already combing baby books for new, pretentious name.
• Lindsay Lohan encouraged to hide alleged drinking, drug problems by running for public office.
• Donald Trump demands a bigger pole; Rosie O'Donnel says she's "not surprised."
• What's Posh Spice's secret to maintaining a rexy frame, weird nips? Why, Japanese food and fruit, of course!
• Billionaire Steve Bing bounces back from humiliation of not banging Pam Anderson by not banging Jennifer Aniston.
• Tony Blair is accused of accepting complimentary $100,000 vacay. Blair defends his decision, insisting they offered "all the good movie channels," and a mini-bar stocked with Cool Ranch Doritos.
• Someone tries to burn down the Gyllenhaal reunion; Jake declares it the "Worst Vacation Ever."

[...] seems like only six months ago that Julia Roberts finally admitted to being "knocked up" for the second time in approximately two years. (Wait a second, [...]
[...] seems like only six months ago that Julia Roberts finally admitted to being "knocked up" for the second time in approximately two years. (Wait a second, [...]
[...] seems like only six months ago that Julia Roberts finally admitted to being “knocked up” for the second time in approximately two years. (Wait a second, [...]