• Here's video footage of a drugged (and 8 months pregnant) Anna Nicole Smith dressed as a clown. The best part? You can actually hear Howard K. Stern's musings on how best to exploit her.

• And congrats to Anna for getting back in the game. We were starting to think Brit had overtaken her by bringing batshit insane back.

• Did Bridget Moynahan get preggers in a desperate attempt to trap Tom Brady into marriage? Or did Tom immediately dump his girlfriend of two years when she told him there was a bun in the oven?

• Michelle Pfeiffer randomly whines about how there are no good roles for pretty actresses, prompting a confused Charlize Theron, Penelope Cruz and Cate Blanchett to whisper, "Huh? That bitch craaazy."

• A-Listers snub Paris Hilton's bday bash, leaving her to party with a small monkey and army of midgets instead. Seriously.

• Which is just as well, really, seeing as Paris Hilton was worried Kim Kardashian would "steal her thunder."

• Mel Gibson confesses he'd rather be a doctor or a chef than an actor best known for his role in Braveheart and his antisemitic hate-mongering.