• Isn't it nice when your big sister ditches you and then explains to the press it's because she's more popular and didn't want to take attention away from your ugly duckling ass. We just feel so sorry for Ashlee Simpson sometimes. [Page Six]

• Normally, Naomi Campbell getting arrested would be really big news. But since it happens more than AMI mags folding, we barely even notice anymore. [AP]

• The French are trying to get Zizou to come and head-butt Lance Armstrong. [ABC]

• Remember when Britney Spears told Matt Lauer she wanted to start her own magazine? Well, Kevin Federline actually has a name and a business proposal. Lord, how many failures can one duo set themselves up for? [R&M]

• Ahhh! This is the scariest ad for a horror movie we've ever seen! [Us]