• Jessica Simpson won't be chillin' with Adam Levine tonight (we think that was a one time deal). Tonight, it's just her, and her girls, and a needle full of collagen. [ET]

• It wasn't only Paris Hilton who was obsessed with stalking Brain Quintanas, but, like, all the celebs try to stomp over the little people. Oh, this guy loves to sue him some celebs. [R & M]

• Robin Williams hits Scores, hoping to catch himself a Lindsay Lohan/Kate Moss pole swinging before the whole club goes to shit. [Page Six]

• First Kelly Clarkson says she wants Madonna's thighs, now Gywneth Paltrowwants Madonna's boobs? Has anyone noticed that Madonna looks like shit lately? [The Sun]

• The penalty for shooting your friend in the ass? A whopping seven dollars. [People]