• Scarlett Johansson is almost as happy with her body as Woody Allen is. [People]

• No more hot female employees for Jude Law. He now spends his nights forcing his hot male assistant to distract him from checking out any tail while they bar hop. [Lowdown]

• Why is it that people in the Hampton's are so stuffy? God forbid a nice Italian family run a sucessful family business. [Page Six]

• Fabulous news, people. Lindsay Lohan may finally start crowding up the hospitals in London instead of here. [Scoop]

• Crazy Joe Simpson can no longer rely on the careers of his daughters to keep him afloat. So he's taking up one of the industries oldest trades: paparazzo.