• Britney Spears hopes to blame high chair makers for her baby's fall. She was also overheard screaming at the customer helpline, accusing the manufacturers of causing her weight problem and lack of intelligence. [National Ledger]

• Broadway star Julia Roberts speaks to husband Danny Moder through secret Playbill code. [Page Six]

• Is it really that hard to understand a divorce when it already happened once before? With the same guy? [Gatecrasher]

• Jude Law protects his children from the paparazzi … but not from a hail storm of f bombs. [TMZ]

• We're sort of confused as to why Charlie Sheen would need a sugar momma. Did Denise Richards come from money or something? Because, uh, we don't think she actually made that much of it. [Scoop]