• Oh, so you heard Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got married? So we don't have to talk about it? Even the part where Andrea Bocelli snubbed the Scientology couple? Unless their flight to the Maldives goes down in flames? Great!

• Michael "Kramer" Richards pulls a Mel Gibson, launches into racist rant on stage, might not receive free drinks at the Laugh Factory any more.

• Lindsay Lohan accidently stores coke razor in wrists.

• While Britney Spears parties in Las Vegas, Kevin Federline wears a burlap sack in Miami.

• Lindsay Lohan signs with Miu Miu after LV defeat.

• Rod and Kim Stewart argue over who's more irresponsible.

• Living above the city in the Time Warner Center proves too trying for 21-year-old Anna Anisimova.

• Jessica Simpson and John Mayer remain just friends. Who cuddle.

• An Olsen twin's teeth surface for a brief moment.