• Tara Reid tells Us Weekly she will "never be perfect again." There are so many things wrong with that statement we don't even know where to begin. [Us]

• When Eliot Mintz was just a boy, do you think he dreamed of the shit show that is now his life? Eh, probably. [Mollygood]

• Mel Gibson has not gone out and tagged swastikas all over LA in 65 whole days. [AP]

• We always knew Vince Vaughn wasn't cut out for "relationships." He's already been spotted rebounding with a bottle of peroxide. [Page Six]

• Jon Friedman discovers Jon Stewart. He's funny! He has this really great comic timing! We're so grateful we have Friedman to point these things out for us. We would've never known there was just a funny, funny man out there. [Market Watch]