We meant to write about this yesterday, but then our dealer came over, we ordered some Indian food, started thinking about how weird everything is and totally forgot. Oops!

Aren't those Page Six Magazine ads annoying? It's like, how many puns on "six" and "sex" can they possibly make? "Get more SIX in your life"—do they mean we should have more sex or move to 6th Avenue so we can use "six" more?

Wait, we keep getting distracted. So, did you see that Emily Gould pothead piece this Sunday? Apparently she like, um, used to smoke a lot of pot. Now she's all reformed and does a lot of yoga, instead, which is actually way more annoying than being a pothead.

Gould tells the pun-tastic mag that her "catastrophic" Jimmy Kimmel experience totally scarred her. (Uh, clue one as to why Sarah Silverman is so twisted)

After explaining her daily doja habit, Ms. Gould informs captivated readers:

Earlier this year this year, things changed. I made a fairly catastrophic live TV appearance in March, which culminated in Larry King Live guest host Jimmy Kimmel giving American the impression that Gawker's jokey "stalker amp" was what killed Princess Diana and John Lennon. This led to receiving thousand of truly virulent e-mails, which threw me into a series of panic attacks—and the realization of how jarring it is to live at such extremes.

We'd sympathize, but…c'mon! Emily, you're ounces better than Jimmy Kimmel. No hirsute late night show host has the right to make you give up pot, and right before 4/20 too! That's like giving up Christ two days before Christmas: sacrilegious.

Well, we guess we're impressed with your self-control, but don't go hitting us up when you need a fix.