Vice is going in a new direction: they cut off their Letters section because no one was writing them nice letters anymore, founder Gavin McInnes was cut loose for "pushing too many buttons", and now the former gross-out hipster mag is all about the war in Iraq? Or something? Who knows, does anyone read Vice anymore?

But in an effort to become more McSweeneys-esque, Vice is cleaning up it's act with a New York food guide. And it's a bunch of pig-tripe (which they suggest you try):

PANNA II
No one is coming to this Indian place because of the food (although in all fairness, it is not bad). It’s in the heart of all the other East Village Indian spots, but this is easily the smallest and most obnoxious. Walk in (BYOB, BTW) and it is like you’re up a Christmas tree’s ass. Trick: Tell your waiter (secretly) that it is someone in your party’s birthday.

NANCY WHISKEY
You don’t come here to eat, though the chicken tenders and fries, in a pinch, are OK. You come here because this glorious Tribeca shithole has a shuffleboard table, cheap beer, and a bartender who looks like a svelte (read: anemic), younger Jerry Garcia crossed with Animal from The Muppet Movie. No one bothers you here.

A lot of this "guide" doesn't actually involve any food, but what can you expect from guys who think these girls are the ideal body size.
So make up your mind new Vice (Nice?): do you want to be the sophmoric mag with the cool cred, or the grownup mag with actual suggestions? Because while people might look to Vice for fashion Do's and Don'ts, no one wants to eat like some aging dope fiends from Ontario.