Riff is going to the dance to make nice with Bernardo, so this Thursday America will be able to witness the ultimate mambo as John McCain makes his long-awaited appearance (probably) on The Late Show with David Letterman. Unless he backs out again, of course.

The question is: Will Letterman take the Bill O'Reilly route and go all soft and sweet once he has his opponent in the chair? Or will he continue to berate McCain and hope the audience he's already lost during the debacle is less than the numbers he's bringing in for his on-air beat-down? Let's take a look at the McCain/Letterman time-line and place our bets accordingly:

1. John McCain was supposed to be appear on the Letterman, but canceled to "save the economy." Instead, he went down the street and "saved Sarah Palin from herself" by appearing on Katie Couric (which was also, it should be noted, a CBS program).

2. David found out and used some of CBS' footage of the interview to mock McCain. CBS wasn't happy.

3. David kept up the mockery for several days straight: either because the man's got ethics/pride/whatever, or because he loved the tasty, tasty ratings.

4. John McCain makes a big frowny, offers to reappear on Dave's show.

5. Dave continues making fun of McCain, because he is a warrior, just like Kid Rock.

6. Dave Letterman realizes that actually having McCain on his show will boost ratings even more, a deal is struck.

Conclusion: Dave already won the war when McCain acquiessed and agreed to come on The Late Show instead of getting even by doing Leno or Conan. Dave will do the admirable thing and give Johnny a little bit of a ribbing, but then settle down and give a reasonable interview.

Who wins? CBS, duh.