Elle magazine isn't exactly thrilled with Lohan over the whole "I'm a cokehead who drives my giant white car into people" incident. Apparently, the high-level fashion and beauty editors (read: a never-smiling Nina Garcia) think multiple DUI's and pants with secret drug-pockets compromise Lohan's ability to speak intelligently on hard-hitting issues such as a peaceful resolution of the Israel-Palestinian conflict which haircuts are best for your face-shape and how to pick make-ups that are right for your skin tone.

Reports WWD:

In just a few short weeks, Lindsay Lohan will be on the September covers of Maxim and Elle — and while the timing couldn't be better for Maxim, some argue Elle might not share the same fate. Maxim readers probably won't care that Lohan could be headed behind bars; in fact, that probably will only increase her appeal to its babe-hungry readers. But Elle readers seeking pages of fashion and style advice might be turned off by another Lohan arrest and pending court date, which will take place just days after the magazine hits newsstands.

In other words, pervy Maxim readers get off (sorry, but it's true) on the idea of a hot chick behind bars, whereas Elle's target demo (i.e. tween prostitutes) would rather receive their beauty and fashion advice from a trainwreck celeb who doesn't have two DUI's, an ugly mugshot and a raging case of rosacea under her belt.

We say, quit your whining, Elle. So Linds was found with drugs in her pants and a blood alcohol level of .13. It's not as though she stole $21,000 worth of merchandise, wiped greasy food on a one-of-a-kind couture gown and allowed her freakishly annoying pet to relieve itself all over an ugly but insanely expensive Zac Posen party frock.