Well, it looks as though the Conrad Black trial is really heating up. Oh, and by "heating up," we actually mean "postponed for a day because a juror didn't show up." But come on, it's just an expression anyway, something people say when they don't want to admit that the trial's actually taking an excruciatingly long time because of our slower-than-molasses legal system.

And really, the only reason you're even following it at all is because the Canadian press is bananas for this guy. And while we enjoy the grumpy close-ups of Black's loosely jowelled face and that sunny yellow tie he always seems to wear, we're mainly just stalling until we find out just how much cash he really stole for his wife's birthday party, and what other extravagant rich-person needs (possibly NYT trend-worthy needs!) the money laundering fulfilled.

So we were pretty much prepared for a snoozefest until we saw this in the morning's papers.

The British tabloids covering the trial got their moment Monday as Black, who prefers to be called "Lord Black of Crossharbour," and his wife, Barbara Amiel, also known as "Lady Black," were entering an elevator near the 12th floor courtroom. A London reporter says what she heard was not ladylike.

"She called out to a journalist who was standing outside the elevator, 'You slut.' After the elevator door closed she called out, 'You are all vermin and I'm sick of it,'" said Daily Express reporter Joanna Walters.

The thing of it is, Lady Black of Crossharbour is absolutely right. Reporters are just a bunch of dirty slutbugs. And we should know—we happen to be journalists ourselves.**

**And by "journalists" we mean "people without health insurance who write a trivial, error-laced blog cataloguing the adventures of actual working media personalities.