Maybe I'm not ready to settle down, because Men's Vogue just wasn't for me. On page 20, there's a huge spread on some foreign disaster, which is the equivalent of sitting down for drinks with a stranger and talking about the situation in Iraq. Sure, I care about Iraq in the larger sense, but is it such a crime to talk about other pressing issues, like the weather, for a little bit?

Keira Knightley is supposed to be a "smart' sex symbol, but let's keep it real: She's just an anorexic with a British accent.

Frankly, I'm not interested in a guy who is this interested in tailors.