Ever have an absolutely picture-perfect morning, where you woke up on exactly the right side of your king-sized canopy bed, tossed aside your expensive 800-thread count Léron sheets, geared up for an early morning session with your personal trainer, delicately nibbled your breakfast of coddled eggs with a side of grapefruit, and then hopped into your private town car on your way to work—only to discover that your stupid Egyptian driver should've been deported, like, six months ago?

Oddly enough, that's exactly what happened to gynecologist-worshipping domestic goddess Martha Stewart early Tuesday a.m. Reports Page Six:

A DRIVER for Martha Stewart was arrested on Tuesday, but the exact circumstances are a bit murky. After Stewart left her Bedford home early to make an appearance on "The View," she noticed on the ride into town that her car was being followed by a police cruiser. When her car stopped at the "View" studios on the Upper West Side, it was surrounded by officers, who promptly arrested her driver. A visibly upset Stewart went up to her dressing room and, according to a source, "started shouting loudly to an assistant over the phone." The domestic diva yelled, "How could you do this to me? Don't you do background checks on people? He was Egyptian! What do I pay you people for?" Our spy added, somewhat unnecessarily, "She was furious."

When reached for comment, Stewart's publicist declared this entire incident to be an "Orange Alert," then immediately instructed Martha to do "less talking and more stupid arts & crafts projects."