• Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking go and and buy Harry Potterl! Shomer shabbos!

• After a somewhat disappointing debut, Portfolio's hotly anticipated second issue will sport what some are calling "a redesign," and what a spokeswoman is calling "tinkering."

• Most people would be embarrassed to admit they actually work for Cosmo. But not this guy!

• Kimora Lee Simmons wastes no time making sure viewers of her new reality show, Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane, clearly understand that she's a washed-up closet case with an over-inflated ego. "I've had billboards; that's my life," she says, matter-of-factly.

• Oprah becomes the newest Obama girl, raising money for the presidential wannabe because, as she explains, "I like my men like I like my coffee."