• Still recovering from a car accident earlier this month, Times' managing editor Jill Abramson has finally checked out of Bellevue hospital. During her stay, Abramson kept herself busy cooking up frivolous lawsuits working on a top-secret investigative project for Bill Keller.

• Despite failing to "shiver me timbers," Pirates breaks box office records over the weekend. Or does it?

• Dennis publishing announces plans to open Maxim Bungalows hotel in the Dominican Republic, presumably catering to those conservative types.

• Forbes encourages NBC to "save the peacock" by adding more reality tv programming. Which is so funny, because we were just talking about the dearth of shitty reality television nowadays.

• Lou Dobbs continues to blur the line between truth and fiction with his controversial reporting. Related: Janice Min to target Dobbs in Us Weekly's next 'Fake News' roundup.