• Just when Cablevision chief James Doland tries humping Michael Bloomberg's leg, the cable company posts a near $63 million quarter loss. [Mediaweek & Page Six]

• Fox News' excuse for VP Joe Chillemi's wailing on about pregnant women's tits? It might be bad language, but it's not sexual harassment. [B&C]

• Five years ago, Bill Clinton made the cover of Esquire for his Oval Office tactics. This month, he's on the cover again — but for its Best & Brightest issue. [MIN]

• Two months after locking Maureen Dowd and Paul Krugman behind a fee wall, the New York Times reports about 135,000 users have subscribed to its TimesSelect service. Stupid liberals and their overflowing bank accounts. [E&P]

• Rita Cosby is turning to true patriots to boost her ratings: the hookers at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada, who will give returning GIs what the really want for the holidays. [R&M]

• Five days after the auction to have lunch with Rupert Murdoch bega, there are exactly two bids for the media meal. And the second bid? Just $100 more than the first. [Guardian]

• It's now impossible to separate Maureen Dowd the columnist from Maureen Dowd's book, just like it's impossible to separate Maureen Dowd the redhead to Maureen Dowd the passive-aggressive camera subject. [NYO]