• In Touch falls victim to its own publishing schedule (and failing to make the proper phone calls), publishing a very out-dated two-pager on Renée Zellweger gushing over her "partner, my soul mate," otherwise known as her soon-to-be ex-husband Kenny Chesney.

• David Geffen has already tackled the music and film industries, so why not print? Rumors abound that the mega millionaire is eyeing the Los Angeles Times for a new plaything.

• Embroiled Us Weekly "Hot Stuff" editor Tim McDarrah is out on $50,000 bail, awaiting his Oct. 14 preliminary hearing on charges he tried to bang a 13-year-old girl. It needn't be said, but he's grounded from using the computer and interacting with minor children.

• Judith Miller's got 99 problems, and a bitch ain't one. Her 11 weeks at the Alexandria Detention Center have seen nearly 100 guests come and go, and we don't think any of them were bloggers!

• If the Wall Street Journal would put its frickin' content online, it'd be much easier for people like us to tell you how much it sucked.

• Meanwhile, the New York Times is taking some of its online offerings behind a wall of its own with today's debut of TimesSelect. Now if only they would let us register for a free trial without a credit card we could tell you how much it sucked.

• As Details' publisher Chris Mitchell leaves to pursue a career in stuff we plant our asses in, Vanity Fair associate publisher Paul Jowdy is moving in to the envious position of Dan Peres' masthead mate.