• Jack Valenti, the longtime Hollywood lobbyist, dies at 85. His death will be mourned by everyone who knew him, and rejoiced by every teen who's ever been denied admittance to an R-rated movie.

• Two "major publications" (read: NYP and People) digitally obscured portions of the photo from the VT shootings. "Eh, that's nothing. I used to to pull that crap all the time!" says recently fired Blade photog, Allan Detrich.

• Say, remember when we suggested Rush Limbaugh might be the next Don Imus? Apparently, he was listening!

• ABC network exec, Andrea Wong, to take the reins at The Lifetime Channel. Her first goal? To make it "even more boring."

• Glamour to provide first "official" look at Sarah Jessica Parker's new craptastic affordable clothing line.

• Employees to own 60% of the new Tribune. Which means they could, potentially, make an enormous amount of money. Or, you know, lose it all.