Michael Jackson is 50 today! It's weird because you usually don't stop to think about how old the King of Pop is, but as it turns out the dude's ancient. Must be hard to tell under that mask face he has on.

In celebration of this glorious event, Good Morning America's Chris Connelly interviewed MJ (over the phone of course) about growing old. It's kind of a sad interview, doubly so since Connelly seems completely baffled by how weird Jackson is. You would think GMA would have the sense to know that wasn't going to be the greatest celebrity profile of all time, seeing as Michael Jackson is a nut-job and notoriously cagey around the press.

But just in case the report hadn't dampened your Labor Day enthusiasm already and instilled in you a fear of death and aging, there are is the strange melancholy of Jackson's voice itself, which Chris likens to "an old radio station that fades in and out when you're driving somewhere." Everyone loves it when it's John Updike Day at ABC.