Less than two weeks after Pvt. Scott Thomas Beauchamp (a.k.a. the "Baghdad Diarist") claimed he was "willing to stand by the entirety of my articles for the New Republic using my real name," comes the breaking news that Beauchamp's name is, though fancy, apparently not worth very much.

"Beauchamp…has signed a sworn statement admitting that all three articles he published in the New Republic were exaggerations and falsehoods," writes the Weekly Standard, adding that the "fabrications contain[ed] only "a smidgen of truth," in the words of a source."

In further disappointing news for Beauchamp, he's just been informed that he has approximately zero chance of parlaying his highly publicized faux-pas into a major motion picture (inspired by actual events!) starring Hayden Christensen as the unconvincing lead, Chloe Sevigny as the offbeat love-interest who doesn't really pan out and a before-he-was-famous Peter Sarsgaard in the role of crack-editor/real life douchebag Charles "Chuck" Lane.