If only the Time 100 party wasn't tonight, we might care a little more about New York magazine's list of the most influential people in our city. Well, maybe not even that would help. After all, Intern Zack has only been here three years and he is already so over 90% of these people. (We really need a magazine to tell us that Anna Wintour is important to the fashion industry? Psha.)

But the coverage on plagiarism is pretty hilarious … everyone hates a Harvard kid, after all. And who doesn't want to re-live their first prom? Hey, when you're not reading blogs you need something to bitch about at the water cooler. And while we work on the penny issue, discuss your town amongst yourselves.

• Sadly, Kaavya Viswanathan's saga confirms something we've known for years. Kids can't write for shit. [Generation Xerox]

• And also, thanks to Kaavya, the collective GPAs of most journalism students will go down considerably. [Where Have I Read That Before?]

• And the list, which makes us even more nauseous than the "most beautiful New Yorkers issue" has all the important media folks and real estate nerds. The most frightening? Rupert Murdoch really does own the enitre world. [The Influentials]

• Uh, you can call us art-retarded, but we see fail to see the artistic genius required to host a dinner party. [Let Them Eat . . . Um, What?]

• You know, Eliot Spitzer and David Paterson are just so freakin' cute! They should totally have their own sitcom. [Spitz, Paterson Really Split the Ticket]

Table of Contents [New York]