While perusing the New York Daily News on this lazy Friday afternoon, Intern Whitney came across an unintentionally amazing article detailing how 165 police recruits (or 14.6% of the entering class) have already quit, leaving the 'Impact' program at risk. 'And what,' you might wonder, 'were their reasons for leaving?' Not surprisingly, it's all about the Benjamins—or, lack thereof.

"You get those first paychecks, and suddenly you realize that doing the right thing - protecting your city - doesn't pay anything," said a 27-year-old recruit who dropped out after two months for a better-paying job in a shoe store.

"All your patriotism goes out the window when you can't pay the rent," the former recruit said.

Translation: Saving lives may be rewarding, but it will never be as lucrative as working at the local Foot Locker. You hear that, Al Bundy? Life just doesn't get any better than this…