Bet you thought local television networks decided which dates they were going to pull various stunts to draw in viewership spikes so they could charge more for 30 second spots than they should reasonably be allowed?

Not so! That's the call of Nielsen, the audience measurement company that's turned its near monopoly on viewer stats into an excuse to barely do its job.

Since time immemorial-ish, Nielsen has put one of its four-time-a-year sweeps weeks in February; the others come in November (beginning of fall TV season), May (end of fall TV season), and July (previously the death bed of primetime, now the summer reality TV season). But with the federal mandate to switch from analog to digital broadcasts by Feb. 19 of next year, Nielsen doesn't want to trip up any homes who might not make the switch in time, leaving them WITHOUT TELEVISION ACCESS OMG.

So they're moving February sweeps. To March. Now watch the Super Bowl and Academy Awards get all nervous and move their stunts to March, too.