Say what you will about Philip Roth, but he knows how to write about intimate moments with garden vegetables and butcher meat. The same cannot be said for Norman Mailer.

Despite being dead, the Literary Review has given Norman Mailer the Bad Sex in Fiction award for The Castle in the Forest, his last book. The incriminatingly bad sex scene could double as a pamphlet for abstinence-only education and is after the jump.

Then she was on him. She did not know if this would resuscitate him or end him, but the same spite, sharp as a needle, that had come to her after Fanni's death was in her again. Fanni had told her once what to do. So Klara turned head to foot, and put her most unmentionable part down on his hard-breathing nose and mouth, and took his old battering ram into her lips. Uncle was now as soft as a coil of excrement. She sucked on him nonetheless with an avidity that could come only from the Evil One - that she knew. From there, the impulse had come. So now they both had their heads at the wrong end, and the Evil One was there. He had never been so close before.

The Hound began to come to life. Right in her mouth. It surprised her. Alois had been so limp. But now he was a man again!