• Surprisingly, the Stock Market does not wait for Diddy. Apparently Diddy would likely "be late for his own funeral." Who doesn't show up fashionably late for their own publicity stunt? [Page Six]

• Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee are not necessarily breaking up for good. They can stay together as long as she continues to let him sleep with younger models. [Lowdown]

• Here are Rolling Stone's 10 bands to watch in 2006. But to be honest, if you haven't already heard of these bands, the indie kids are never going to be impressed. [Rolling Stone]

• Shakira is modest. Really, she is. Sure, she's never worn a shirt that skank out her body and show her stomach, but that's really not her fault. [The Scoop]

• We're just impressed that the stoners got their shit together enough to organize stealing Jerry Garcia's toilet in the first place. [USAT]

• Hey Howard Stern. Just because a homeless dude spit in your face does not make you special. This is New York, just spit right back. [TMZ]