• Duncan Sheik is such nice guy — most people wouldn't even take the time to beat their sister up for performing at Pianos, let alone actually go and watch her. [Page Six]

• Tom Jones' face is at risk of falling off due to his excessive plastic surgery. Hey, Teri Hatcher, you might want to cancel those next twelve appointments. [MSNBC]

• Music bloggers: Just as morally depraved as real music journalists! [Marathonpacks]

• N'Sync fails to grasp the facts that 1) the world is round and 2)R. Kelly can't keep track of what kind of gun he has. Hey, no one said pop stars were bright. [Onion A.V. Club]

• In response to recent celebrities attacking their assistants with blackberries, Ghostface melted his bling sidekick down so it can't hurt anybody. [MTV]