Last night, at 7:37pm, Us Weekly's online chief Ken Baker published the above post, after seeing Paris Hilton stumble her way through an hour of television that required her to speak aloud. Apparently, this week's Paris-free issue of Us didn't mean the website was going to let up on the heiress — until this post. "We're sure Paris is lovely in the summer," blogged Baker. "But, for the time being, we just won't be going there."

Cut to 8:33am today.

This post, from UsMagazine.com editor Noelle Hancock:

Us Weekly is nothing if not consistently inconsistent.