• Always beware of a guy in a fedora who threatens to bite off your boob, pee in your soup, and thinks that Page Six is the mafia.

• And magazines who lie to you about being able to see Eva Longoria from space.

• Maybe if you're lucky, Si Newhouse will buy you an apartment. But, if you suck at running a magazine, you'll probably only get a one bedroom apartment.

• Elle Girl's life gets taken before she even has a chance to become a woman. But, she will live on like the real ladies — on the internet.

• From inside AMI, the real story of Celebrity Living's demise. Even Bonnie Fuller stopped by to shake hands.

• And for once, the only magazine that nobody cares about, with the most stalked about celebrity of the month.